


rest easy

by mazereid



Category: Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex Rider Needs a Hug, Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tom's Perspective, bros being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25471192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazereid/pseuds/mazereid
Summary: Tom and Alex are having a sleep over. Tom is woken up in the middle of the night by a noise coming from the bathroom.
Relationships: Tom Harris & Alex Rider
Comments: 3
Kudos: 93





	rest easy

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the TV universe, rather than the book universe. It deals a little with suspected PSTD from Alex. I haven't written anything for archive since like 2013, and this is unbeta-ed so like...yeah.  
> Cross posted on FF net

The sound of distant retching, stirred Tom from his light sleep. He sat up slowly in the bed, remembering where he was and then realising what that noise had been - someone was vomiting. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced over to the other side of the bed which was pointedly empty. crumbled strewn sheets indicating a quick escape. The previously closed door to the room was wide open, and he could spot a distant light on. It seemed like then, all at once, his brain caught up to him. He got out of the bed and carefully made his way to the bathroom, where the sounds of retching stopped and started from. 

Tom had been excited to stay over at Alex’s, with everything that had happened he had been glad for the slight normality to watching movies, drinking unhealthy juice, eating pizza and falling asleep next to his best friend. They’d watched something mundane, some teen drama about a boarding school, some netflix thing that neither he nor Alex had been particularly concerned with paying attention to - a random pick by Tom. Jack had gone away for the weekend and it had been her idea and suggestion that while she was gone, Tom come round. Part of Tom had worried Alex would say no, that he didn’t need the company, but no such rejection had come. Things between them were good. Better. The fight, the clone and aftermath in the not so distant past had made things still a little odd but things were better now. Alex was still a little more distant than he had been before, he was quieter than he had been before, Tom swore down that it seemed to strain his friend to laugh as carefree as he had before...before it had all happened. 

Tom stood in the doorway of the bathroom glancing down at his friend. He seemed to have stopped vomiting, but was still heaving pitifully into the toilet bowl. Tom could see the sweat on his friend, dark patches on the dark t-shirt, the way the t-shirt clung on. Tom cleared his throat, now knowing better than to just reach out and grab his friend as he might’ve once done. He felt sympathy tug at him as his friend looked to him with a tired expression. Snot, tears and a few specks of vomit adorned his face. He looked panicked, tired, hurt and old all at once. 

“I’m sorry,” 

Tom shook his head, he reached to the sink and grabbed a face cloth, got it damp enough and then crouched to Alex’s level. His friend had stopped leaning on the toilet bowl and looked rather dejected as he leaned against the cool bathroom wall tiles. Tom held out the damp face cloth and shook his head again. 

“You don’t apologise to me,”

Tom echoed Jack’s words. Whenever Alex tried to apologise for what happened, for Tom’s involvement with Roscoe, with the clone’s beating, with the clone’s harsh words, he repeated the phrase Jack had said back to Alex.

He could see the way Alex’s chest was still moving quickly, he could see the glazed fading panic in his eyes. He watched as with a jerky movement his friend took the face cloth and ran it appreciatively over his face. Tom took it back and made quick work of cleaning it off and flushing the toilet. Ridding the room of the evidence of what had happened.

“Come on, let’s go back to bed,”

Tom held his hand out to his friend, to help get him to his feet, but after it remained out for a while with no movement from Alex, he pulled it back. Clearly whatever had happened to bring Alex to his knees in the bathroom hadn’t quite passed. He sat down on the floor of the bathroom in front of his friend and made a point of grabbing his friend’s gaze and giving him an encouraging smile. He was reminded then of their fight..when the clone had said all those terrible things to him and he had in turn taken it out on Alex. Had it hurt...yes.. _yes it had_. That rang in his mind. Tom knew there would be some lingering post-traumatic stress, it had been there since Alex had gotten back. The first thing he’d done upon returning had been go to his room and remain alone. But things had been better….he thought they’d been better. Maybe he needed to read more about post traumatic stress disorder.

“What happened?”

Tom asked as he listened to his friend try to control his breathing, sniffled loudly. Alex hadn’t talked about what had actually happened at Point Blanc, not to him and as far as he knew not to Jack. Tom knew little parts but Alex hadn’t told him much. In fairness Tom hadn’t really asked. His own brush with danger had prevented him from really wanting to delve into it too deeply. Tom had almost died, he’d been threatened, he’d feared for his safety, his arm was still recovering. But so had Alex. He’d seen the bruising that lingered still on Alex’s body, even a week or so after some hadn’t quite faded. He’d seen a moment in class when a teacher had been speaking to his friend at the front of the room and moved quickly, causing his friend to jerk away quickly. Yes, _it had hurt_. 

“It was that dumb movie. I feel so stupid,”

Tom shook his head quickly, keeping hold of Alex’s gaze as he did so. A boarding school...right. Tom hadn’t even given it a second thought. Alex hadn’t seemed bothered with it. He hadn’t said anything. 

“You’re not, its not,”

It didn’t seem to assure his friend much, he watched with some dismay as for a moment all of his friend’s remaining guards dropped and he looked like a teen, like he should, but unlike most teens, Alex was a teen who had lost so much already and was in way over his head. Who had given the world plenty more than most others would ever. Who had gone through something traumatic and hadn’t had the space to talk about it. 

Alex had never been much of a talker but without Ian and with him likely thinking Tom wouldn’t understand, he'd said next to nothing at all, Tom could only imagine how isolating it all was to keep it bottled up. Tom’s brush with it all had been isolating too, but he’d never struggled to express himself, he’d never struggled to find the words he needed to say what he wanted, even when parts of it were still raw and others were secret. He watched the expression on his friend morph into a sadness he didn’t want to keep looking at and found some relief as Alex hid his face behind his hands, leaning against his knees. It had surprised Tom to note they were shaking as they moved. 

“I just see it all again, but my dreams twist it. I can never make out who’s strapped down to the table but it’s like everyone all at once. I can see someone and then I hear your voice, Jack’s voice, Ian’s, Kyra’s, half our class’ but I can’t help them. Every time I try to help I just fumble, then someone screams and all I feel is the blast,”

Alex shuddered lightly and Tom winced in sympathy. There wasn’t much he could say. Nightmares happened, and he couldn’t exactly talk logic to nightmares. It didn’t work like that. He reached out and put his hand on Alex’s shoulder, light at first and then more heavily as Alex leaned into the touch. 

“It’s over now,”

He assured him. 

“For how long?”

The question from Alex surprised Tom, he frowned deeply, waiting for him to elaborate but it seemed none was coming. This had been a one time deal….right? He did this once and now he was rid of them. Surely? 

“It’s not going to happen again,”

Tom assured and just watched, helplessly, as Alex shook his head. The conversation faded on that note, and they just sat there on the cool bathroom floor. Tom wasn’t even sure how much time had passed until his friend looked back up at him. He didn’t mind, he’d have sit all night with his hand on his shoulder if he'd had to. 

“Shall we go back to bed?”

Tom asked, he got to his feet once he noted the positive nod to the question. He helped his friend to his feet and they walked back to bed. He made sure Alex got in bed first and then moved to the other side to lay down. He stared up at the ceiling, listened to their breathing, Alex’s seemed heavier than his, still slightly laboured. 

“You don’t have to pretend for me Alex”

Tom spoke quietly.

“You don’t have to hide how hurt you were...are,”

Tom didn’t look at him. 

“I’ve always got your back,”

Tom let the silence consume the room again. He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t think there was much else to really say. His eyes remained open, any past tiredness was gone. He was sure in a few hours it would likely come back. He felt the bed shift and he knew Alex had turned to face him.

“I know Tom. I trust you,”

Came the soft, sleep filled response. Silence followed once more and filled with a fondness and protectiveness over his best friend, Tom decided to stay awake until he was sure Alex was asleep again. In the end, even once his friend’s breathing had evened out Tom remained awake. He’d keep watch tonight, keep the demons of the past at bay. 

He’d happily be restless this night so his friend could rest easy for once. 

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! thanks for reading.


End file.
